And tomorrow...I will get out and run for her. I will strap up my running shoes--and push through the pain and tears, because--I know, that she would hate those tears. She would tell me to stop it. She would be pointing that boney little finger of her's at me yelling at me to stop that.
The last year has been hard. It has been up and down. There have been smiles and many many tears. Many memories that we have made--memories I wished she could have joined us for. I know she is my angel looking down. I know she is smiling--and also yelling at me for the way my house looks. I know she is watching my boys in amazement. I just wish heaven wasn't so far away.
Tomorrow marks 1 year without her. And it hurts. And the tears flow. BUT--the memories are there. The tears will turn into smiles. The pain will ease. Her memory will forever live--happy and strong--in the heart of my family.
Here she is. Beautiful, strong, and amazing.
This was one of the few last trips she made to Omaha. She wanted to come down and enjoy the boys' some more--because she had to go to the doctor the next week--and knew deep down--that her cancer had returned. I remember this meal. Sitting with her--having a blast. She LOVED eating at Valentino's--they had so much she could eat (or well gum-since she didn't have any teeth) and she could get her fill and then some!!
want a beautiful tribute to her, and yes she wouldn't want us to cry, but she would understand, she wanted to be here as much as we want her here, and I believe that she is shedding a tear in heaven, she loved us all so much. I remember that dinner too...she knew, we both did, but she was determined to make every day into a memory, every day was precious to her and that is a lesson she has taught those who love her. Treasure each day, make sure the the people you love know it, care about people, reach out and make a difference...little or big...laugh and share...and love...with all your heart...and of course how to be strong in the face of horrible things...laugh through the pain, find joy in every journey...always seek the good...yes we were truly blessed, and she is missed, today and every day...
ReplyDeleteI have these same moments with my grandpa, and it's been 5yrs. Your mom is right though, they wouldn't want us to cry, and they would be proud of us. You are doing such amazing things to keep your gramdma's spirit and memory alive! I hope you have an awesome run today!
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